Dragons in Question Time and murders on The Block: what's next for Aussie TV?

No-one's quite sure what these regulations will entail but the federal government has told us to watch this space as it nuts out a quota system as part of its national cultural policy rolled out this week at Melbourne's iconic Hotel Esplanade, home of Rockwiz, sticky floors and reasonably priced jugs of beer.

Some interest groups want the streaming giants to funnel sizeable chunks of their increasing revenues from Australian subscribers back into local productions, especially jobs-heavy scripted drama and comedy, the type of shows once prolific in the domestic landscape before they were sent perilously close to extinction by dirt-cheap reality TV featuring ordinary people marrying each other or cooking food.

But "quality" productions are expensive and you can bet the horse trading going on between streaming companies and the yarts minister's office will end up producing a mix of top-drawer and bottom-shelf content designed to meet the "local" criteria.

Remakes have always been one way of keeping the prices down and subscriptions up, and it's tantalising to think how the likes of Netflix, Disney+, HBO and Paramount might reconfigure some of their hit shows to give them a distinct Aussie flavour.

Here are some pitches ...

After last season's bloated house and land package fizzled out on auction day, there's no doubt the Channel Nine reality TV staple is in need of renovation. So why not add some quirky cross-generation sleuthing to the mix?

The season would begin with the murder of a contestant by a neighbour and each week ageing and grumpy foreman Keith and his spunky young sidekick, Dan, could gather clues while signing off on bathroom water-proofing and coordinating on-site concrete truck deliveries.

Motives for murder are never hard to find on The Block (I'd kill for a couple of mature trees, too) and there will still be plenty of opportunity for gratuitous product placement (White Lady Funerals, Interflora).

Sadly, under this new format, there is no longer a role for Scott Cam.

Scratch the surface and Netflix's South Korean mega-hit was really just a pastel-infused prison show and no-one does jail time better than Australia.

The ladies of Wentworth Correctional Centre could be subjected to a series of sadistic Australian schoolyard games (handball, Red Rover Cross Over, brandies) as they compete for a life-changing prize under the gaze of mega-rich people (inner-Sydney property owners) craving a new form of entertainment.

The current Australian socioeconomic climate is ripe for such satire and Lynne Hamilton's On the Inside remains the perfect theme song.

And, yes, someone will be stuffed in an industrial clothes dryer.

Darryl Kerrigan was made to run a cattle farm.

"How's the serenity?" he'd whisper after rising each morning to greet the sun kissing his thousands of pristine acres before riding out to lynch someone.

Darryl and Kevin Costner's John Dutton have much in common; their ancestral properties are constantly coveted by outsiders and both have some seriously problematic children.

All RAM utes will come with speed camera detectors.

Warnie was famously dismissive of coaches in international cricket but it would still be nice to see how Jason Sudeikis's perennially positive Kansas mentor would take to our national sport.

Had Ted been around, sandpapergate would never have happened.

"We don't win that way, son," he would have advised, before tossing the offending article in the bin and patting Cameron Bancroft on the bum.

It's not too late to fly Ted over to Nagpur.

There are already plenty of scaly, fire-breathing monsters in both houses of parliament but so base and puerile have the televised polemics of our pollies been for the past several years, the format requires policing.

In a nutshell, The Speaker (on the Iron Throne, naturally) will have a couple of dragons at her/his disposal when things get rowdy.

Anyone who asks a Dorothy Dixer will be sent to The Wall.

Really hard to think of a rich, powerful Australian family on which such a show could be based.

The Irwins?